Suicide By Life

Sometimes, I feel like I’m just watching people commit suicide…

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about watching people commit suicide in the traditional sense, but watching a person continuously make bad and self-destructive decisions can feel like watching them commit suicide. At least, to me it does.

Especially after you’ve talked to them, helped them to see the light, the reality of their circumstances, the madness of it all. They even confirm the dysfunction of their situation in their own words. Yet, they do nothing about it and willingly continue on into darkness.


Now, I understand that everything anyone ever does is only done because there’s some kind of payoff in it for them. Be it Physical, Mental, or Spiritual, there is always a payoff. Even the nicest person you know is nice because there is a payoff in it for them somewhere.

What that payoff is, doesn’t always make sense to anyone other than the person in question, and I suppose, thats where my problem lies.

It literally pains me to see people go through hard times, and even more so when it’s unnecessary and caused by their own unwise actions made on purpose. I’ve come to realize, with much disappointment, that people will “deal with” anything, ANYTHING, even if causes them great pain and suffering as long as they get their payoff.

  • Taking drugs to the point you become addicted to them, knowing the harmful, and sometimes fatal, effects just to feel that high.
  • Hanging around toxic people and allowing yourself to be manipulated and taken advantage of just so you won’t be alone.
  • Willingly believing lies, ignoring red flags, and overlooking obvious flaws to avoid conflicts.

The list goes on and on.

Trust me, I know the mind is one of the greatest things in life to overcome, but after a certain point in time, you have to start overcoming or become stuck in a life of limbo and torment of your own making. Some choices are are called bad decisions for a reason. They typically lead to bad results, but because of a perceived payoff, people will ignore that fact and sacrifice the overall result for a partial, and usually, momentary benefit.

And yes, I know. Who am I to say that someone else’s payoff is not “worth it” in the end? That’s a good question, but I turn your focus to the person languishing in anguish over their overall bad result that they deemed acceptable in the face of their partial payoff which has now become but a fleeting memory.

So, people continue to spiral into despair, asking why. Why is life so hard? My stance is, yes, life is hard, naturally hard, but we sure do a whole hell of a lot things to make it even harder when it doesn’t have to be.

Being that you can’t make people do what you want, you are often times forced, to some degree, to watch them destroy their own life; or at least stand by with feigned indifference.

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