I ask questions.
It’s one of the things I do most, especially about life, existence.
Sex, Romance, or Commitment?
One of the questions I’ve asked people lately is: If you could only have one, which would you choose between Sex, Romance, or Commitment? After their answer, then I asked, if you could only choose two of the three, which one could you live without?
There is no Right or Wrong answer, this is just a method of self reflection.
Most of the people I asked said they would choose Romance, then Sex, and cast Commitment aside. I can’t say that I was surprised given today’s social climate, but what was funny to me was that the main reason why Commitment was cast aside is because, I quote “Relationships are hard.”
Granted, it is true to a degree obviously, but aren’t most things hard when it comes to dealing with people in general? Family Relationships are hard, Friendships can be hard, even work relationships aren’t without their hardships, but why are people unwilling to deal with “hard” when it comes to intimate relationships? And I’m not talking about “unnecessary hard”, I mean just run of the mill two people getting to know each other and learning to comprise basic hard. I guess people are scared of the deep emotional investment, or something as simple as not wanting to be hurt? I suppose so.
In order for Romance to be Romance, it has to be good, but bad Sex is still Sex.
Another thing I found “funny” was that most people seemed to assume that Commitment was going to be bad, while Sex was automatically going to be good. Now, in order for Romance to be Romance, it has to be good, but bad Sex is still Sex. So the question, for the sake of argument only, was modified to, what if you had to choose between only the “good” versions of Sex, Romance, and Commitment, which would you choose? People really seemed conflicted with this, still wanting to hold on to Sex over Commitment; even if the relationship was guaranteed to be good.
That seems like serious issue to me.
It was as if they were going against some kind of programing to even imagine Commitment could be good. Of course they spouted things like, most Marriages end in Divorce to backup their claims of how hard relationships can be, and to that I pointed out it doesn’t mean Marriage is bad, it just means the people involved in it gave up on each other, or maybe they didn’t even need to be together in the first place.
I often wonder, do people even know what Commitment is supposed to be? Not what society says it’s supposed to be, but have they themselves given any real thought to what a Relationship should be?
At the end of the day, be it success or failure, a relationship/commitment it is purely what you and your significant other make it to be.